


and we keep living anyway

by aeriamamaduck



Series: Saint Petersburg Days [11]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Future Fic, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Married Couple, Melancholy, Past Injury, Post-Canon, Post-Series, Retirement, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 04:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12449520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Victor says goodbye.Yuuri stands with him.





	and we keep living anyway

The rink was empty, save for the two of them.

 

It wasn't the first time they'd done this, and Yuuri was determined that it wouldn't be the last.

 

There was no music this time, Victor skating to whatever he heard in his head. Yuuri wished he could hear it for himself, because Victor was moving beautifully across the ice.

 

It was mesmerizing, silent, and tragic all at the same time.

 

Yuuri kept attaching his gaze to Victor's right ankle as he watched him skate, that particular anxiety still too stubborn to leave even when he knew Victor was fine. He felt annoyed at himself for flinching at a jump, pushing away the memory of another jump, one that made him wish that it was him and not Victor. A jump that still haunted his nightmares, along with the memory of Victor's agony.

 

Victor kept going, face and gestures the picture of elegant pain, a testament to the terror and uncertainty of the past few months. Of their perseverance, of the difficulty of Victor's choice.

 

A hand gently drawn across his jaw. Yuuri inhaled sharply, remembering all the times he would automatically touch Victor's face with all the tenderness he could summon, wanting to banish the fear in those blue eyes. Even after long and exhausting discussions and arguments, Yuuri would still wrap himself around Victor like a second skin, silently repeating what he kept telling him whenever they talked about it.

 

_No matter what you decide, I'm here._

 

Victor couldn't decide. Not for the longest time.

 

His body hadn't quite had the last word, not in the way everyone had assumed it would. Victor had worked hard in therapy, done every exercise, and followed every instruction. It was him giving himself the choice everyone else thought he'd lost when his ankle broke. But even so, time didn't lie. Nor did all the undeniable damage his joints had experienced through the years. 

 

"Spent" was one of the words Yuuri saw thrown around, and he hated it. Victor was still young in years, keeping his natural vitality, but his body wouldn't be able to handle grueling, ambitious routines for much longer. It was a harsh truth they all had to face and Yuuri knew that soon he'd have to weigh his options.

 

He knew Victor wasn't ready to let go. The ice had been his first love, his prison, the place where he could tell his stories. The place he and Yuuri had grown together and known each other.

 

Yuuri understood. Even when he thought he wanted to turn his back on it, skating still held on to him. 

 

He'd stayed with Victor through the pain, the recovery, the indecision. He'd skated his heart out for him, not wanting to let him down even though he too was terrified of what either choice might do to Victor.

 

But he was determined to support him through it.

 

Still, no decisions were made.

 

Then Yakov had to be taken to the hospital, and things changed.

 

Yuri and Mila needed a coach.

 

A three hour conversation with Yakov and Lilia had settled it. Victor told Yuuri what he'd decided.

 

He waited until they were home to cry, and Yuuri held him through it, letting his own tears trickle silently down his face.

 

It wasn't the grand goodbye Victor had probably envisioned. One last gold medal to throw in everyone's faces. 

 

But this was no less beautiful.

 

Yuuri realized he was smiling as Victor came to a stop, eyes closed as he threw his head back and wrapped his arms around himself, strong as a pillar yet privately vulnerable.

 

When he knew it was over Yuuri started clapping, still as entranced as when he'd been twelve years old and had just set eyes on the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

 

Victor lowered his arms and gazed at Yuuri with a soft smile before making his way back to the barrier. "Well, that settles it. The applause is never going to get any better than that."

 

Yuuri reached for his husband's hands, coaxing warmth into the cold skin. "Are you ready to go?"

 

He nodded silently, a flicker of sadness in his eyes as he squeezed Yuuri's hands. "I have to be."

 

But this wasn't fair. Yuuri had repeated that over and over, aloud and in his head. Victor had so many plans, and he wanted to go beyond everyone's expectations for at least another year or two. He blinked away the tears stinging his eyes, and Victor's thumb gently grazed his cheek in concern. "Yuuri?"

 

He swallowed and brought Victor's hand to his lips, murmuring into the warming skin, "I just...I know this wasn't on your own terms, and there's so much more you wanted to do..."

 

Victor placed his fingertips on Yuuri's lips, stopping the rest of his words as he looked at him steadily. "It was going to come to an end eventually. I didn't have a set plan, I just knew I wasn't going to do this forever...I kept thinking 'one more year. Just give me one more year.' I got greedy, I suppose."

 

Yuuri knew he probably sounded like a broken record at this point, but still he repeated, "I just want you to be happy, no matter what you decide."

 

"I know, _detka_ ," Victor replied before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I made my choice, Yuuri. It's time for this old man to settle down and let you youngsters make history."

 

Unable to keep from laughing shakily, Yuuri asked, "Weren't you the one who told me to stop settling?"

 

"You still remember that?" Victor asked, delight filling his gaze.

 

"How could I forget?" 

 

Victor kissed his forehead again, burying his nose in Yuuri's hair for several moments before drawing away and giving Yuuri a brightly determined gaze. "Fine. I'm not settling down. Not when I get to have students as amazing as you and Yurio and Mila..."

 

"And you're not old, okay?" Yuuri insisted. "Not yet, at least."

 

They both laughed at that, and for a moment it felt like they hadn't gone through months of shared fear. Victor kept smiling even as his eyes filled with tears, and this time he raised Yuuri's hand to his lips. "Thank you...for staying beside me."

 

Yuuri's heart ached at the gratitude in Victor's voice. "Why would I even think about leaving? For better or worse, right? In sickness and health. I meant it all," he said, trying to keep his voice firm even through the threat tears. "No matter what happened or what might happen, you're always going to be the person who changed my life. That's not going to change."

 

Victor didn't speak, muffling a sob into Yuuri's palm as tears made their way down his face. Yuuri leaned in to kiss his forehead, quietly reaffirming his love for him. After several moments Victor wiped his tears away, sniffling and saying with a sheepish grin, "Enough...Enough. It's not like I'm never going to set foot on the ice again!"

 

That was true, at least. They still had so much to do, especially now that Yuuri would be sharing his coach with two other people. But Mila and Yuri were like family, and though there'd be adjustments, he wanted to see what would happen. "Let's go home, coach," he said with a smile.

 

Smiling back, Victor stepped off the ice.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr: **aeriamamaduck**


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